Every American is aware of the outcome of the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Yet, no one seems convicted to talk about this or rehash the poor calculation, the only public reason to enter war with “Terrorist Killers.” Not that Saddam Hussein and the rest of the 51 targets are good people, but if the United States needs to be the world’s police, the world’s petroleum hunter, and the Third World’s infrastructure rebuilder than shouldn’t they have a secret weapon? Smart Bombs just aren’t very smart yet.

What if one man could alleviate the quagmire of a mole hole that the United States of America has found itself in? What if one man could find the Weapons of Mass Destruction, the Mustard Gas, and the Rape Rooms?

Only a magician could get America out of this one! Enter David Blaine. Yes, that’s right, David Blaine, America's most beloved magician since David Copperfield. He has a slight of hand, the ability to live in ice (this may not be all that useful in the desert), and can even float right on by the war ridden Fallujah.

Terrorists won’t see him fly because he is a magician spy. George W. has no faith in secret operatives. Tony Blair has no faith in 007. To the Fertile Crescent he will travel, straddling the Tigris and Euphrates. Will he succeed? Listen to Blaine, “The only one to end this war that is so tragic is someone with fantastic magic.”

Next » NPR: Not Privately Rich