Lance Armstrong? More like Lance Legstrong.

Mr. Armstrong has proven that he is one his generation's greatest athletes. Seven straight victories in the most demanding test of physical endurance, the Tour de France, is a feat that may be unequaled in the entire history of sport–Pheidppides legendary run from Marathon to Athens and his subsequent death was pretty remarkable, but that was to celebrate a military victory, not for sport (and most likely a myth; see Wikipedia: Marathon, History).

As with other internationally popular sports, cycling received little attention in the United States prior to the "Tour de Lance"–the term history books will use to refer to Mr. Armstrong's reign at the top of the sport. His first victory in 1999 pushed the pedal-powered hero into the lime light along with his machinery, inspiring a new recognition for the sport in America.

And what happens when an athlete receives media attention in America? He receives multimillion dollar endorsement deals, makes commercials, and gets a superstar girlfriend. Of course Sheryl Crow didn't enter the picture until the autumn of 2003, but everyone who watched the Outdoor Life Network's coverage of Mr. Armstrong's final two Tour victories delighted in her color commentary.

Sadly, though, Mr. Armstrong no longer has a personal musician. Sadder, still, Ms. Crow was diagnosed with breast cancer soon after their break-up in February 2006. Fortunately, she made a great recovery and has since returned to the performance stage.

Mr. Armstrong's recovery was not as expeditious as Ms. Crow's. Did you know that he had cancer too? Mr. Armstrong's professional cycling career was put on hiatus on 2 October 1996 when he announced that he had stage three testicular cancer that had spread to his brain and lungs.

Cancer be damned! Mr. Armstrong's return to professional cycling was first marked in 1998 when he signed on with the United States Postal Service Pro Cycling Team. Over the course of the next eight years, he defeated the likes of Jan Ullrich and Ivan Basso again and again, proving that they are but mere prancers compared to the masterful Lance Legstrong.